Getting chance to write this thing is harder than I thought it would be... The endless checking up on me, watching my screen, non-stop talking... And when she goes to sleep, I've got things I'd rather do than think of her enough to type sentences about her.
Let's start with something recent. The Sky+ got cut off, due to non-payment. This was a result of the XBox 360 going to crap and me having to buy a new one. I was assured I would be paid back, by Wife. So when the Sky gets cut off, I get it in the neck because I didn't have the money to pay the bill.
Wife: "You didn't pay the bill!"
Me: "Because I have no money! Someone was desperate to get another Xbox to play Fallout on."
Wife: "Uh, more like you were!"
I get such sparkling rapport going with her, it's unbelievable. Sometimes I just marvel at the amount of words she knows.
She's also got it into her head that "Not trying for a baby, but not using protection" means "Take vitamins, time ovulations, check temperature and start preparing immediately". I only told her "We might want to try for another child next year..." to get her to stop going on about buying a rabbit. Those things need daily attention, much like the two children she shouts at when they make noise at the wrong time, and she doesn't even remember we have a hamster more than every other day!
As far as the rabbit thing went, Wife asked if I would mind her getting one. I said "No, I don't want to look after another animal. I didn't even want the hamster.". This somehow translated into "Sure, let's get one as soon as we can!". We have no space, rabbit things would cost about £200 and she wouldn't care for it - but we had to get one!
Wife also can't bare to do anything when I'm able to sit around and do nothing. I'll be reading or writing, or playing a game - she will leave the room (for the bathroom usually) and almost as soon as she does, she finds a reason for me to also leave the room. To tell the kids off, to clean one of them, to change a nappy, to look at something humorous they may have done, to get them something to drink... If it's completely in her power, I will be asked to do it. I have seen her change possibly ten nappies this year, and that's being generous. If she's filled a juice bottle, I've had to either hold something or open something. If they've not stayed in bed, I've had to keep sending them back. If they begin to cry due to a fall or stepping on something, I have to sort them out. I have to put them into and take them out of the car if we're going anywhere.
I work 9-5, she does hardly anything - especially if she decides to visit her parents. I'm pretty sure she doesn't even feed them if they're there. She relies on her parents to provide her children with attention.
It's getting late and I've had a vent...
Saturday, 13 June 2009
Saturday, 25 April 2009
Part Two
Just found out that Wife has, yet again, done the one thing that pisses me off more than anything. Spent my money that's safe away in my bank account, without telling me.
As she plays Second Life constantly, I decided to let her have a Pay account. This was so she could buy Linden Dollars and not have to get me to do it. This was on the proviso that she told me about it. She spent £54 on them, without a word. It's not as if she just forgot to tell me, either. When I asked "Why has Second Life taken 50-odd quid twice in a week?" her reply was "Because the account renewed". I asked again why the other 50 had gone too, she replied "Because I bought Linden's, okay?!"
At least she told me the truth, though. Times in the past I've asked "Why has Second Life taken this money?" and gotten "I dunno, do I?" so I've gone to change my Paypal password - someone is obviously stealing from me. But instead of support, I've had "Bu
I wrote a story for an erotic magazine and got a complimentary issue as payment. This was posted from the USA, so a very obvious air-mail envolope. I got home one day, about a month and a half ago, and found it by accident, having been opened and placed in a hard-to-find area of the livingroom. It was in the envolope and It had obviously opened it to see what it was. The kind of thing you tell your husband about, right?
She still hasn't mentioned the delivery to me.
She does this with my post regularly. At weekends I sometimes hear "Oh, there's a letter downstairs addressed to you, it says you need to owe this company money. It got here on Monday."
*All Wife speech is translated into actual English sentences for your benefit*
As she plays Second Life constantly, I decided to let her have a Pay account. This was so she could buy Linden Dollars and not have to get me to do it. This was on the proviso that she told me about it. She spent £54 on them, without a word. It's not as if she just forgot to tell me, either. When I asked "Why has Second Life taken 50-odd quid twice in a week?" her reply was "Because the account renewed". I asked again why the other 50 had gone too, she replied "Because I bought Linden's, okay?!"
At least she told me the truth, though. Times in the past I've asked "Why has Second Life taken this money?" and gotten "I dunno, do I?" so I've gone to change my Paypal password - someone is obviously stealing from me. But instead of support, I've had "Bu
I wrote a story for an erotic magazine and got a complimentary issue as payment. This was posted from the USA, so a very obvious air-mail envolope. I got home one day, about a month and a half ago, and found it by accident, having been opened and placed in a hard-to-find area of the livingroom. It was in the envolope and It had obviously opened it to see what it was. The kind of thing you tell your husband about, right?
She still hasn't mentioned the delivery to me.
She does this with my post regularly. At weekends I sometimes hear "Oh, there's a letter downstairs addressed to you, it says you need to owe this company money. It got here on Monday."
*All Wife speech is translated into actual English sentences for your benefit*
Tuesday, 7 April 2009
Part One
No, it's not a play on words. I hate my wife. Though as She ensures she is as big a part of my life as possible, I suppose I hate my life too.
I'll not address her looks and I have nothing against my son or daughter.
I'll start with today, just one thing to kick it off.
I work 9-5 for the technology side of a logistics company. I quality control mobile phones, getting paid 6 thousand pounds per annum less than someone else doing my job. Half hour for lunch, two fifteen minute breaks. I drive, so in all I have almost two hours of time alone - all spent doing something. When I got home and put tea in the oven (this was today, but also pretty standard) I found my 2-year old daughter was asleep. Twenty minutes previous, I asked Wife on the phone, to ensure Daughter didn't fall asleep, which I was told "She won't." I knew this meant Daughter would stay awake until after 10pm.
Almost 7pm, Daughter wakes. 7.30 I put Son to bed. 8.50 I get to stop watching Hannah Montana and put Daughter to bed. 9.30 Wife goes to sleep. I get half an hour of relaxation before having to sleep to get up at 6am?! If I'm not looking after the kids, I'm working or entertaining Wife.
If Wife gets bored, I have to stop whatever I'm doing and do something to entertain her. Watch tv with her, play a game so she can watch and nap, look at failblog.org... I interupt reading comics, writing, playing Flash games, watching cartoons/movies/anime - just because she wants to stop playing Second Life for the first time in 9 hours that day.
She has around 10 Second Life accounts. Not including the 20 or so she's deleted. She plays it from 8.30am until 5.30pm. Some days she 'Can't be bothered' to take Son to school, so just sits in bed "looking after the kids" and playing Second Life. When confronted about housework, taking Son to school or helping dress either kid just once, I get "You try having a bad back and being in agony all the time!". Two doctors have told her that her back hurts a lot simply because of her weight. The same weight that:
Stops her from crouching.
Stops her getting out of the bath without holding the sink.
Makes her take up an entire side of a double mattress that fits myself and either child.
Ridded said mattress of its firmness.
Stops her kneeling.
Do come back next post. There's more. I've not touched upon her speaking, yet.
I'll not address her looks and I have nothing against my son or daughter.
I'll start with today, just one thing to kick it off.
I work 9-5 for the technology side of a logistics company. I quality control mobile phones, getting paid 6 thousand pounds per annum less than someone else doing my job. Half hour for lunch, two fifteen minute breaks. I drive, so in all I have almost two hours of time alone - all spent doing something. When I got home and put tea in the oven (this was today, but also pretty standard) I found my 2-year old daughter was asleep. Twenty minutes previous, I asked Wife on the phone, to ensure Daughter didn't fall asleep, which I was told "She won't." I knew this meant Daughter would stay awake until after 10pm.
Almost 7pm, Daughter wakes. 7.30 I put Son to bed. 8.50 I get to stop watching Hannah Montana and put Daughter to bed. 9.30 Wife goes to sleep. I get half an hour of relaxation before having to sleep to get up at 6am?! If I'm not looking after the kids, I'm working or entertaining Wife.
If Wife gets bored, I have to stop whatever I'm doing and do something to entertain her. Watch tv with her, play a game so she can watch and nap, look at failblog.org... I interupt reading comics, writing, playing Flash games, watching cartoons/movies/anime - just because she wants to stop playing Second Life for the first time in 9 hours that day.
She has around 10 Second Life accounts. Not including the 20 or so she's deleted. She plays it from 8.30am until 5.30pm. Some days she 'Can't be bothered' to take Son to school, so just sits in bed "looking after the kids" and playing Second Life. When confronted about housework, taking Son to school or helping dress either kid just once, I get "You try having a bad back and being in agony all the time!". Two doctors have told her that her back hurts a lot simply because of her weight. The same weight that:
Stops her from crouching.
Stops her getting out of the bath without holding the sink.
Makes her take up an entire side of a double mattress that fits myself and either child.
Ridded said mattress of its firmness.
Stops her kneeling.
Do come back next post. There's more. I've not touched upon her speaking, yet.
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